DEAR ABBY: I was married for more than 40 years. My ex constantly badmouths me to everyone. He got to our grown daughter early during our separation, and it’s clear to me she has sided with him. He’s a very intelligent narcissist who manipulates people and they’re not even aware of it. Our divorce took three different lawyers and cost me thousands, which was his intention. Should I open up to my daughter and try to get her to understand why I can’t be around him? I don’t want to alienate my only child. — FREE BUT NOT TOTALLY HAPPY DEAR FREE: If you were married to your husband for 40 years, y…